Day 23 – Clear the People Pleasing Program

*Scroll down for the tarot spread*

You know what bugs me? The stigma that comes with identifying someone or oneself as a “people-pleaser”. As if it’s a conscious choice. Most of the time, it isn’t. The desire to make other people happy even at the expense of one’s own needs, preferences, and comfort comes from a much deeper place. It’s usually a symptom of other old programs that need to be brought into the light or awareness and released.

We want to please people because it seems like the surest way to gain validation, appreciation, and love. We often confuse it with kindness, too, and feel like if we deny someone a favor we are being selfish. Personally, I believe this is what makes this old program so hard to identify for what it is. We don’t want to hurt anyone. If they ask us for our help, the first impulse is to say “yes” even if that favor might make us feel uncomfortable, take too much of our time, or hinder other aspects of our life. But how could we possibly let them down? The problem is that when you have a tendency to please everyone, they will notice and come back for more because it’s easier to take advantage than to point out that you might have your own needs, too, and those should come first.

So, are you a people-pleaser? No stigma attached! Do you tend to agree with everyone, do you feel responsible for how others feel, apologize often, say “yes” when you’d rather say “no”, and go to great lengths to avoid conflict? I created this tarot spread to help you shed light on these matters and see whether you might be supporting others instead of supporting yourself first. If you do discover that you put other people’s happiness before your own, the tarot will help you dig deeper and see what’s at the root of this old program.

Hope it helps!

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